Dust to Dust
by omalleyanatomy26
Summary: A short fic. Reid is with his mother when she dies. He doesn't tell the team until they get back from vacation.  When they all return they notice Reid's changed. Reid continues to fight his drug addiction, can he do it again? PLEASE REVIEW!


**Since Jane Lynch is now on Glee, I love her on there, but probably won't guest star anymore a part of me hopes they'll kill her off just so we could see how Reid would react to the news and give him more of a storyline.**

It was during the holidays. Reid had flown down to see his mother, knowing how sick she was. While the others prattled on about how they'd spend their holidays he had kept silent. Garcia had asked if he was going to see his mother and he forced fake cheerfullness. They had all been through so much recently he didn't want to burden them with his problems. And he tried to keep his personal life and relationship with his mother seperate from the BAU. He listened to the others tell their vacation plans. Morgan was going to spend Christmas with his mother and sisters while JJ and Will was going to take Henry to see Will's parents. Garcia was going to spend it with Kevin and his family and Hotch was going to spend it with Jack and Hailey's sister while Emily was going to spend it with her family. They all seemed so happy and cheerful once, Reid didn't want to spoil it for them.

* * *

It was the day after Christmas. Mrs. Reid had grown weaker. Reid knew the moment was soon. He held her hand and talked to her softly. When she requested he would read to her. He had to be brave, for his mom. She couldn't see his pain.

"I'm so proud of you...Spencer," she whispered as she grasped his hand and squeezed tigthly. Tears threatened to appear from the young man's eyes. He kissed her hand and couldn't stand it anymore, he couldn't pretend to be brave anymore.

"It's just been...you and me for so long mom, what am I going to do now?" He whispered.

"You're a survivor, Spencer. And despite what you think you are not weak,"she rasped. "You will learn how to live without me. You have another family now...at the BAU."

Reid sniffed.

"I don't want you to leave me," he whispered.

"We all leave each other eventually...what matters is what we do while we're here. The memories we leave behind."

"I'm scared," he whispered and she wiped a tear away from him. "Of being alone."

"Don't be. Even in the darkest of places there is light...when you look for it...Death is nothing to be afraid of Spencer. It's just a part of life." She placed her hand against his cheek. "I love you so much, Spencer Reid."

"I love you too, mom," he said softly. "More than you know."

With that he held her hand as she fell asleep and suddenly he felt the hand go limp and her chest stop moving. He stared at her body for a few minutes before breaking down into quiet sobs.

At least she didn't die alone. No one should die alone.

* * *

He stood in front of the grave as her casket was being lowered. A few of the doctors and nurses from the hospital was there. A figure walked up to Reid causing Reid to turn around. It was his father.

"Dad?"

"I heard what happened," he said softly. "I'm so sorry Spencer." Tears was in William's eyes. "Diana was a remarkable woman," he added as the casket was lowered. Reid's throat closed and he nodded, blinking back tears.

"That she was."

"Where's the rest of the BAU? I would have thought they'd be here."

"They don't know."

"Spencer... You shouldn't have to bury your mother alone, no one should."

"It's the holidays. They've dealt with enough death throughout the year I don't want to ruin it for them."

"Spencer..."William felt awful for his son, going through this alone when he didn't have to.

"Besides, I'm not alone."Reid looked at his father with the first real kind of love William saw from him. "I have you here."

William nodded.

"You do, Reid. And I don't plan on leaving. Not anytime soon."

Reid slowly reached out to hold William's hand and squeezed it as they watched them bury his mother.

* * *

The office was a buzz filled with holiday gossip when Reid entered the room. Because of this he was glad he didn't tell them.

"Hey Reid!" Garcia ruffled Reid's hair fondly.

"Hey Spence, how was your holiday?" JJ asked fondly.

They noticed a change in the kid's demeanor.

It was more sullen and not so lively. Morgan frowned.

"Kid?"

"How's your mom?" Emily asked, wondering if that was what was bothering him. Reid coughed. He'd have to tell them at some point.

"She uh...she died."

Garcia gasped and dropped her papers. Hotch and Rossi looked up.

"What? When?" Morgan cried out as he stood up from his chair.

"Day after Christmas," Reid mumbled as he sat down. Garcia stared at him.

"Did...Did you know that-"

"She was sick when I left? Yeah."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Hotch asked quietly. He shrugged.

"You all seemed so happy for the holidays and a lot's happened so I didn't want to spoil it for you all."

"Reid-" sighed Rossi. "We would have..."

"Helped me, I know. But I was okay with dealing with it alone."

"You should have called me when she died," Morgan said, sounding hurt. "We would have-"

"Flown down for the funeral. I know. That's exactly what I didn't want."

"You all were here for me when Hailey died," said Hotch. "We should have been there for you, Reid."

Garcia was crying now.

"Why didn't you tell us?" JJ asked softly. He blinked back tears.

"You all see death so much throughou the year I didn't want you to see it during a time that's supposed to be happy and joyful. I just...wanted to spare you that, at least for a couple of weeks."

"Reid." Garia's voice was choked. "Were you there..."

"When she died? Yeah I held her hand until the end."

They closed their eyes.

"But I wasn't alone at the funeral. My dad was there...we...actually got closer after that..." Reid cleared his throat. "I'm sorry for not telling you all. I didn't meant to hurt any of you but you all were so happy with your plans and it's rare when the group is really happy with all the death and destruction we've seen...I just didn't want to involve you."

"I understand," Hotch said quietly. "But I still wished you told us."

"I know and I'm sorry." Reid sighed.

"Do you need some time off?" Hotch asked.

"No, that's the last thing I need. I need to keep myself busy," Reid pleaded Hotch when he spoke and Hotch nodded.

Morgan was shaking his head, feeling awful for what the kid was going through while they were all happy and eating turkey he was burying his mother. He suddenly hated himself, even though he knew he had no way of knowing.

"Kid, if you need ANYTHING, or to talk to anybody...I'm always here," he said softly.

"So are we," Garcia added and JJ nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Thanks, that...means a lot." Reid lowered his eyes. "I...I need some air."

They nodded as he quickly escaped, leaving a stunned group behind him. Finally he appeared in the alley and placed his hands over his face before putting them in his pocket and slowly taking out a syringe before staring at it.

**This is going to be a really short fic, no more than 6 chapters probably.**


End file.
